And Here Comes the Dancing Pumpkin
by Kia Shinigami
Summary: ONESHOT. Halloween is celebrated....Duo style! Pumpkin carving, blackmail, and forcing our favorite pilots into costumes! What more could you ask for? Rating due to mature and probably mildly disturbing humor. Yes, there is slash, shonen ai, etc.


**Title:** And Here Comes the Dancing Pumpkin

**Author:** Kia Shinigami

**Genre:** One-shot, Humor, Halloween, Fanfiction: Gundam Wing, Shonen-ai

**Rating:** Started as PG, rapidly degenerated into something not quite R.

**Warnings:** Contains shonen ai, 1x2x1 and 3x4x3 and many implied events that are left to your imagination. Disturbing humor. Crack Fandom. Random other pairings that show up for one sentence or so near the end. Character Hyperbole. (Exaggeration of personality).

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, not to mention the bishies of Gundam Wing.

**Copyright:** Writing/ideas in this story belong to me. Or more specifically my insane mind. It does what it wants sometimes. XD

**Thanks:** Go to Doggeh/Dad for the name of Duo's sledgehammer. And the existence of said sledgehammer in the first place, and to Akiko for Duo's kumquat plushie.

**Beta Readers:** Thank you all! Akiko, Sora, and Sarieu.

**A/N:** This fanfic is not supposed to be serious. It is not supposed to make sense. It is just some light-hearted randomness for fun. The personalities of the characters have been exaggerated in order to increase the humor levels.

This is my first fanfiction, and I'm pretty happy with the results. I will greatly appreciate any constructive criticism, and all flames will be used to cook my super spicy ramen!

This fanfic is a One-shot. I am a huge fan of one-shots, as there is nothing worse then finding an amazing fanfiction, becoming obsessed with it, and then realizing that the author had stopped writing it in 2001, without the courtesy of posting an ending. May all your favorite fanfics be blessed with endings.

Oh, and please ignore the alcohol-age issues. They all have fake IDs.

**BEGIN STORY**

Slowly, very slowly, Heero stepped onto the walkway in front of the safe house where he and the other gundam pilots were staying. It was a tiny house in the suburbs, but extremely comfortable considering some of the conditions the pilots had had to deal with during the war. Heero's mission had been quite long and complicated, and he was exhausted. In his mind he was already falling into his nice soft, warm bed. However, luck was not with him. Opening the front door, (Duo must have forgotten to lock it again--he'd have to remind the braided pilot about necessary security measures later) he was whacked smartly on the top of his head by something oddly shaped and hanging from the ceiling.

Rubbing the sore spot, he turned his 'death glare' on the object, which happened to be a large rubber scythe. Angry, he grabbed hold of it, and with a sharp snap, broke the piece of string anchoring it to the ceiling. As his tired mind attempted to process the possible uses of this strange object, Wufei ran up. He looked not too bad considering the circumstances, but a bit on the homicidal side.

"Yuy! Thank Nataku you've returned! Maxwell has lost it!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Heero demanded, gesturing grandly with the rubber scythe. This décor…was…appalling to say the least. (The perfect soldier had just realized that the rest of the house resembled a discount Halloween store. Actually, more like a discount Halloween store after a simultaneous tornado, explosion, and attack by a sugar high kindergarten class studying interior design.) Plastic pumpkins, skulls, and tombstones littered the floor, while cotton spider webs had been stretched over every possible surface. Bone shaped lights dangled from the ceiling along with various other decorations. And that wasn't even the half of it. Suffice to say the house was a mess. He had just turned around to take in some of the more unusual décor when the one person he did NOT want to see bounced into the room.

"Hee-chan! You're back!" The figure yelled, nearly glomping an uncooperative Heero. The perfect soldier had managed to dodge the attack, and Duo ended up crashing into the wall.

"Duo, what the HELL is going on here?" the grumpy pilot again asked the as of yet unanswered question.

"It's Halloween! You know it's my favorite holiday! We're gonna celebrate!" Duo stood up, rubbing one elbow.

"Uh, sure…sure…whatever you say…." Heero replied, stumbling into his room. He was so tired that he hadn't even heard Duo's reply, but since it sounded like an explanation, he accepted it and continued on his new mission--get to bed before passing out on the floor.

"You might want to be careful in there…" Duo mentioned casually, but unfortunately too late, as immediately there was heard a loud thunk followed by a gunshot from the other room. Heero quickly returned with a large plastic spider covered in webbing in one hand, his pointer finger poking through a recently made bullet hole in the middle.

"Duo, what the hell was this doing in my bed?"

"It's decorations, Hee-chan! To get you into the Halloween mood! Or any other kind of mood if you like it like that..." Duo winked suggestively at the perfect soldier, absently wondering if he was perfect in bed as well.

In reply, Heero tossed the Halloween 'décor' onto the floor and stumbled back to his room.

"Omae wo Korosu!"

Duo rolled his eyes toward the ceiling wondering when Heero would come up with a new threat catch phrase. The perfect soldier used "Omae wo Korosu" (I'm going to kill you.) about 61 times a day, so it had pretty much lost its original fear inducing glamour.

**LATER**

After a few peaceful hours of blissful sleep, Heero woke hearing a discussion going on in the kitchen. True, that shrine of food was one hall and two rooms to the left of Heero's current position, but then again, Duo had always had a very loud voice.

"No, Wuffie, don't chop apart the pumpkin!"

"I fail to see how this qualifies as 'fun'".

Wandering by on the pretense of looking for breakfast, Heero stumbled past Wufei and his katana grappling with a large orange gourd, Quatre carefully carving another one, and Trowa, who had escaped 'pumpkin duty' (by being appointed 'holiday chef'), cooking in the kitchen. Duo, perched on the back of the pink overstuffed sofa (His addition to the decorating scheme of the house, of course. He had decided pink would brighten up the place.), was overseeing the pumpkin carving with his own finished pumpkin sitting behind him in a state of honor.

"Injustice! Remind me again why we are mutilating these poor vegetables."

"Actually, the categorization of pumpkins as vegetables is debatable, you know. But it's a Halloween tradition, Wuffie! Just carve that pumpkin!"

"Don't call me Wuffie!".

"And please refrain from calling me Hee-chan." Heero muttered, grabbing a box of cereal out of the cupboard. He pointedly avoided Duo's cereal ('Super-Happy-Hyper-Chocolate-Sugar-Crystals For Kids'), Wufei's cereal (Something called 'Honor and Justice Loops: Not for weaklings'), and Quatre's cereal ('Organic Vegetarian Flakes'). Trowa had toast for breakfast. Every morning. So thus there was no box of cereal for him. Heero soon decided to go without breakfast however, for when he attempted to pour a bowl of his favorite 'Soldier O's' he discovered the box was filled only with oddly shaped Halloween toys of various kinds. As he stared dejectedly at his plastic filled bowl, Duo moved in on him, a pumpkin in one hand, and a ladle in the other.

Eventually, somehow, the pumpkins were finished and lined up outside. They consisted of a scythe, a clown, one full of bullet holes, and one that remained uncarved (Trowa's). A pile of what was probably the remains of Wufei's pumpkin resided next to them in a sad heap.

**EVEN LATER**

The time was shortly after dinner. It had been Trowa's turn to cook, which meant that the food was actually edible. Quatre always cooked obscure health food ever since his run in with an over enthusiastic high school health teacher and her accompanying visual aid (Fat! What it really does to your veins!), and all the graphic pictures therein (Taken with a real internal camera!). Duo thought the whole thing was hilarious, and took great pleasure in eating triple chocolate ice cream straight from the carton whenever Quatre was around, just to see his hysterics before he ran to Trowa for comfort.

Wufei, on the other hand favored Thai food. Indian food too. Actually, he favored any type of food which could be made spicy enough to melt your nose with just the smell. Habanero peppers were like gods in his kitchen. Never failing, Duo always tried to consume the food just like he did every other night, (all at once, without chewing) and ended up running from the room screaming to dunk his flaming head in the sink. Quatre always politely said that he was on a diet, and nibbled on a salad. Wufei and Heero engaged in a contest of bravery and endurance, both of them glaring heavily at the food and each other, refusing to show pain as their tongues melted away and steam poured out their ears. Trowa seemed entirely unaffected by the food. One would have thought he was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for all the emotion he showed.

Duo's attempts at cooking always ended in disaster. Not one of the pilots was skilled enough to tell the resultant dinner from charcoal. They still hadn't figured out if Deathscythe's pilot really couldn't cook, or if he just enjoyed ordering pizza every Thursday night.

Heero on the other hand, always served military MREs. Usually cold and still in the package. He felt they provided all needed nutrition, and dinner was a perfect training time for the proper way of eating during a mission.

With dinners like that, it's no wonder the boys have managed to stay so skinny.

Regardless of the eating habits of the pilots, our story continues with a trick or treater who happened to skip happily up to the front door of the safe house and ring the doorbell. The door was promptly answered by Heero. A not very happy Heero.

"Trick or Treat!" The grinning kid announced, holding out a plastic pumpkin.

"Omae wo Korosu!" Heero slammed the door shut. Some person in a cheesy costume had just threatened him! He wasn't going to take that! Quatre worriedly hurried into the room as Heero began searching for razor wire in the hall closet.

"Did the doorbell just ring? I bought some candy for the kids-- Heero, what are you doing?"

"The safety of our residence has just been threatened by a midget in a white sheet. I am devising a secure defense system for--"

"What? Oh...you haven't celebrated Halloween before, have you? What a childhood you must have had….tsk tsk. But you didn't hurt the poor kid, did you? Listen, it's a holiday thing. People dress up and give each other candy. He wasn't threatening you. They ring the door bell and say 'trick or treat' and we give them some of this." Quatre explained as he pulled a huge bowl that he had recently filled with candy out of a cupboard. Heero peered inside but all he saw was some dust.

"Is this the 'trick' part of it?"

"What? I- Duo! I told you to stay out of the candy!" Quatre glared around the room looking for the candy-stealer, but the only answer to his shout was the suspicious sound of munching coming from the living room. "Well, luckily I bought some reserves. I thought that no sugar would be safe in this house." He opened a small safe conveniently located on the kitchen wall only to be met with a small card that read:

"Thanks for the grub, Q! D."

"DUO! That was for the trick-or-treaters! ...Fine. Heero, I'm going to go out and buy some more candy. Don't-don't hurt any kids..."

**AND YET, EVEN LATER**

"This is an injustice! I will not sleep in a room with these...things!" Wufei stomped into the room with a string of brightly colored dancing pumpkins dangling from his katana. "I refuse! Injustice! Maxwell has lost it!"

"You know, come to think of it, we haven't seen Duo recently..." Quatre (who was attentively guarding the newly bought candy) mentioned absently, a nervous look coming on to his face.

"--which probably means he's up to something again." Finished Trowa grimly, in his first speaking part so far. (Give him a break; he's the strong silent type!) He shrugged and went back to reading the newspaper, specifically an odd article titled "A History of Cream Cheese."

_The advancements in dairy in the 1872 revolutionized the way that people thought of food. All of a sudden they could eat a new invention called 'cream cheese' spread on toast for breakfast. The so-called 'cream cheese' was also applicable to bagels, which allowed many people to broaden their horizons. The benefits to the baking industry were immense. No one could have possibly predicted this result when an American dairyman originally created the food._

That article almost made Trowa laugh. Maybe he would cut it out for Heero just to tease him. Cream cheese was still a sensitive subject for the perfect soldier after his little 'incident'.

"I'm back everyone! Did you miss me?" Duo bounced conveniently into the room carrying a large stack of plain white boxes. He was met with only the silent dread filled looks of the four other Gundam pilots. Those boxes could contain anything after all…

"Um, Duo..." Quatre asked gently, "what exactly is in--"

"Costumes, Q!" The braided pilot replied, cheerfully dumping the boxes onto the couch and flopping down beside them. It was amazing how that one innocent word could inflict such fear in people. I mean, for heaven's sake, they were Gundam pilots! Soldiers! Highly trained professionals in weapons and fighting!

**IT KEEPS GOING, LATER THEN EVER**

The five bishies sat staring at Duo, who had just put on his costume and was now showing it off. It was simple for a Halloween costume, he was wearing only a green tank top and black spandex shorts. Heero decided to state the obvious, as no one else seemed ready to do so.

"You're dressing up as me?"

"Yep, Hee-chan! Don't I look good?"

"..."

Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei had been trying to sneak away unobtrusively at this point, but Duo quickly shoved a box into each of their hands.

"Trowa, since you didn't carve a pumpkin, I thought you might like to BE one…go ahead, change into it!" Duo advised, shoving his fellow pilot into the bathroom.

"Lessee here, ah, Q, I thought you'd like to be a clown 'cause Trowa dresses up like one so often and you seem to like it a-LOT. I mean, you stare at him for like, 30 seconds, and then you usually grab him and drag him into the--"

"Duo!" cried a shocked and blushing Quatre as he was shoved into the nearby closet.

"And here, Wuffie, this one's for you." Continued Duo, fully oblivious to Quatre's embarrassment. Wufei ducked into the next room, unfortunately not one with an escape route, however, dreading the box and its contents.

"And finally, Hee-chan. Last, but definitely not least on my list! Here's yours!"

Heero suspiciously tugged off the top to be met with a pile of pink frilly material. He poked it nervously with his gun before pulling out...a ballerina costume? He turned horrified to look at Duo. Who happened to be grinning evilly.

"I am NOT putting this on."

"Aw, Hee-chan!" Duo whined.

"Absolutely not. There is nothing that you can do that would make me wear this."

After all, the other costumes were fairly normal Halloween wear. A pumpkin, a clown, even Duo's costume wasn't that outlandish. But a ballerina costume? That was just unfair! Why should he be the only one stuck cross-dressing?

"Really? I bet I can think of something. You wouldn't want anyone to know about that incident you hate talking about...when you found out what vodka is, would you? I WAS the one with the video camera, you know. I have MANY copies of that tape. As much as I love hoarding them all for myself, I'm sure I could sacrifice a few for a better cause..."

"You...you don't...you can't! You're lying! You have to be! I don't remember any video camera..."

"Of course you don't" Duo remarked sweetly "After all, I was the one filming, and YOU were the one drunk out of your cute little mind. It was just you and me." He smirked innocently.

"But I thought you had--you were the one who--" Heero stuttered, horrified.

"Nope, I just gave you the hockey stick and a push out the window. You found the goat yourself. Not to mention the cream cheese." Duo giggled maniacally. It was actually a very scary sound. "You know, I bet I could make millions selling that tape!"

The perfect soldier blushed an extremely dark shade of red. There were still certain songs that he wasn't able to listen to without feeling sick to his stomach due to that incident.

"And the look on your face when you woke up the next morning! Lying on a pile of bananas, wearing nothing but Trowa's pink apron, covered in cream cheese, with a hockey stick in one hand and the goat in the other! I guess I can't blame you for being shocked, but it probably would have been better if you hadn't taken off running and run right into that dentist's convention. Though they were very nice about it. They even offered to pull that one tooth for free."

"They weren't nice! They tied me up with floss and dangled me over a bubbling vat of fluoride!"

"Well, you did disturb their Sunday brunch."

"...And that tooth didn't need to be pulled anyway!"

"Lucky I saved you then, I guess."

"You call that saving? It took a week for me to get all the toothpaste out of my hair!"

"Well how was I supposed to know they were carrying toothpaste grenades?"

"Dentist Convention my ass. It was more like the Tooth Related Terrorist Fest."

"Dentists have their problems too, you know. Where do you think they learn how to deal with hysterical second-graders getting their first teeth pulled?"

"Well I never thought they had their own secret society of evil training programs."

"Let's get back to the original topic again, shall we? I believe you were saying something about how you've always wanted to wear a costume like this, and that you would be forever in my debt for getting it for you." Duo gave the frilly pink spandex a fond pat, his evil grin barely fitting on his face.

Heero pondered his plightful predicament. He also wondered why he was suddenly using alliteration.

"I don't believe you. You better show me some proof first. It would be just like you to lie about something like this." The perfect soldier said, folding his arms across his chest and doing his best with a patented death glare. But the effect was all in all rather weak considering his knees were trembling ever so slightly in the face of all that pink lace. He could calmly face down gundams, bombs, or the most skilled assassins in the world, but for some reason Duo armed with that pink spandex just gave him the shakes.

"Ah, of course, of course. I wouldn't expect anything else. Come along then!" The braided pilot grabbed Heero's arm and dragged him off to his room.

His room was a remarkable combination of colors, furniture, and odds and ends. And none of it matched. Heero couldn't even imagine where Duo had managed to dig up some of the more…unique pieces, such as the assorted fruit beanbags piled in a corner, or the giant inflatable spork propped up against the cardboard cut out of a sledge hammer that the braided baka had affectionately named Ninja Farmer Bob Joe Brown XII.

He barely had time to ponder these things before being pushed down onto Duo's waterbed, which was covered in special-order sheets of what appeared to be glow in the dark dancing scythes on a black background. In a few short seconds he was able to confirm the initial analysis as Duo toppled down on top of him, shoving Heero's face up against one of the larger scythes. Yup, definitely dancing scythes there. Silk sheets too. It felt rather nice on the skin, he observed, before being roused from his thoughts by Duo.

"Ah, sorry about that Hee-chan. I know I left that remote around here somewhere…" Deathscythe's pilot shoved aside the various items on his bed, the gundam shaped pillow falling on top of Heero's head only added insult to injury for the perfect soldier.

"Here we are!" He delightfully held up his prize (which had been hiding in the pocket of a kumquat plushie) grinning even more then before (if that was possible), and devilishly pressed the power button for the TV, rapidly followed by the play button for the VCR.

Heero didn't know which shocked him more, the fact that Duo kept such an incriminating tape in his VCR, or the fact that he could clearly see himself on the screen clutching a half-filled bottle of Vodka and wearing nothing but a pink apron.

"D-Duo, thish ish shome goooood wa-wa-water!" The TV Heero slurred, gulping directly from the bottle.

"Well, it better be for those prices." grumbled TV Duo, downing his own glass of 'water'.

"Duo, besht pal o' mine. Do ya knoow whaht I whant mooore then any-ANY thing in theh whorld rhright now?"

"No, Heero. What do you want more then anything in the world right now?" Asked Duo, fully expecting some syrupy lament about a lost lover or cable TV weekend only deal, as Heero seemed to be rapidly disintegrating into a 'sentimental drunk'.

"Cream cheese."

"Cream cheese!" the pixilated Duo exclaimed in shock, "What you want more then anything in the world right now is cream cheese?"

"Yesh." Heero clutched the bottle to his chest and wistfully examined the ceiling.

"Now why in the world would you want something like that?" demanded Duo, a little more roughly then he had intended. After all, he had already fulfilled various requests for the drunk Heero, from getting him Trowa's apron to buying him the newest Harlequin romance novel. He was feeling quite a bit tired by now from all that running around.

"You don't have to be so mean about it." Sniffled Heero, cradling the bottle in his arms as a tear welled up in the corner of his eye.

"Oh, for God's sake, don't cry! I think we're out of Kleenex already…Look, I'm sorry! I really am! I'll get you your cream cheese, ok?"

"Ok." Agreed Heero, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and looking up puppy dog like at the braided pilot.

"I'm going to go check in the kitchen. Stay here. Don't do anything dangerous." The picture on the TV bounced as the camera was being adjusted, and then Duo's back filled the screen as he left the room.

Waiting for his buddy to return, Heero took another swig of Vodka. And blinked. And hummed. And tapped his fingers on the ground. Then, having a brilliant idea, leaped up and ran off screen. A horrible crashing sound was heard, which sounded quite like Wufei's most prized China cup being tossed into a lamp and thrown out the window, but we'll never know for sure exactly what it was. After a bit more rummaging around, and few more worrisome thuds, Heero moved back into the camera's line of vision and began dancing energetically to Devo. The song was the classic, "Whip It".

By the time Duo returned with a tub of cream cheese, Heero was curled up in a ball sobbing into a pillowcase and singing along to "My Heart Will Go On."

The braided pilot rolled his eyes. Definitely a 'sentimental drunk', he decided, shutting off the radio with a snap.

"Now there is someone who truly understands the depth of human emotion." Heero choked out, muffled by the pillowcase.

"Whatever you say, old buddy. Here's your cream cheese, just like ya wanted." Duo placed the tub on the floor next to his friend, and backed away slowly. He just wasn't ready to deal with Celene Dion.

"All right! I've seen enough!" loudly broke in the real (and sober) Heero. He was beginning to vividly remember what exactly had occurred after receiving the cream cheese, and had no wish to see it played on a big screen with surround sound.

"Aw, it was just getting to the good part!" grumbled Duo good naturedly, but he hit the pause button nevertheless.

"So." Said the perfect soldier, not quite sure where to continue from there.

"So." Agreed Duo, waiting expectantly.

"If I wear that ballerina costume, you won't sell this to the fangirls, right?"

"Yupper-doodles. And I promise not to blackmail you with it in the future."

"Fine, you win." Heero sighed dejectedly.

"Aw, cheer up, Hee-chan! After this whole Halloween thing is over and done with, you and I can have a party in here. We can watch the tape of me training to be a bartender. You're not the only one who has gotten drunk and done embarrassing things on camera."

A smile tugged the edges of Heero's lips. As he recalled, Duo had been practicing mixing random alcoholic drinks on a film to send to a bartending college. He was going to lie about his age and start training. That was the plan, anyway. He hadn't been able to convince any of the other pilots to taste test for him, and had ended up chugging all the drinks himself. The resulting chaos had involved a DDR mat, seven cases of Twinkies, glitter glue, a loud speaker, and half the neighborhood. Ah, and the helium. Couldn't forget that. He still wondered where exactly Duo had dug up all those old parade balloons.

"All right. That sounds…fun." Conceded Heero.

"Great!" Duo leaned over and smooched Zero's pilot on the lips before smacking him on the back and jumping up from the bed. "There ya go, Hee-chan! Sealed with a kiss! No backing down now! Let's go see about that costume, why don't we?" He bounced out of the room followed by the pilot doomed to a frilly and pink evening ahead.

**THE LAST LATER MAYBE?**

Eventually four of the five pilots had gathered in one room, all wearing their costumes. Now that Heero had worked through the initial embarrassment, he decided that being a ballerina really wasn't too bad. The costume was actually rather comfortable. Besides, who was going to tease a ballerina with a .45 semi-automatic hidden in his tutu? No one, that's who.

"Where's Wufei?" The newly-empowered-and-fully-confident-in-his-masculinity Heero asked, glancing absently around.

"He's still hiding in the pantry." Duo replied, stretching the sides of his Heero-spandex shorts. The damn things were fitting a bit too close for comfort. He made a mental note to ask Heero what the heck kind of underwear he wore under them later.

"And he's not coming out of this pantry, either!" The pantry doors rattled angrily at Duo.

"What's up with him?" Heero raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, just something to make you feel a bit better about being a ballerina. Think of it as a bonus." Duo replied, making his way over to Wufei's hidey-hole. He tapped lightly on the door and leaned in to talk to the occupant. "Come on out, Wuff-man. What's the problem?"

"Problem? Injustice of course! A warrior should not be forced to wear a fluffy cotton tail or have a cute little pink nose."

Duo leaned closer and whispered so that only Wufei could hear him. "Heero is dressed up like a ballerina."

There were a few seconds of silence.

"….A ballerina? …This I have to see."

The door rolled back on its hinges to reveal Wufei in all his fuzzy pink rabbit glory. He and Heero took one look at each other and burst into identical bouts of hysterical laughter.

"See, was all that that bad?" asked Duo.

"No, I guess not." The other pilots grudgingly agreed.

"Great! Now—off to the annual Gundam Wing Cast Halloween Party!" Duo grinned widely, slinging one arm around Heero's neck, the other around Wufei's, and dragging them to the door. Quatre and Trowa followed, arm in arm.

"Just wondering, was this the party where last year Relena had to be taken to the hospital after getting drunk on peach schnapps and trying to eat the rose garden?"

"Oh, I think so." Came the casual reply.

"You know, tonight might just be fun after all."

"I wonder what Treize is dressing up as…"

"I wonder what kind of food they're going to serve."

"I wonder if Sally likes bunny rabbits…"

The party was a smashing success, emphasis on the word smashing. By the next day the place was trashed, as the party had continued early into the morning hours.

Wufei and Sally snuck away halfway through the party to visit an all night pet store, as it seemed Sally wanted to buy a pet rabbit. Duo and Heero started a mosh pit in the middle of the ballroom dance floor that became as close as you can get to an orgy with your clothes still on. Quatre and Trowa were found around lunchtime the next day curled up together in a closet, lacking most clothes, but in an extraordinarily good mood. Relena turned up in the hospital again after jumping off the balcony with a parachute made of napkins held together by chocolate pudding. "No lasting damage." The doctors told Zech and Noin after they had been dragged out of the hot tub. They never did find where Treize and Lady Une had gotten to, but Duo swore they sprinted out the door at about two in the morning ranting about their new organization to take over the world, FUCK (Fantastic Underwear Created with Kelp).

The moral of the story is: Chocolate pudding and napkins are not aerodynamic no matter how much of a running start you get.

Happy Halloween!

**-END STORY-**

Thank you for reading! I hope you found it amusing!


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